Right now, it's pretty trendy to like Batman. I am not following the trend not only because I don't want to follow the trend, but I truly didn't like Batman. In this article when I mention Batman, I am referring to the new movie, Batman: The Dark Knight.
I think that there are a lot of people who are like me. People that didn't like the movie, but told themselves that they enjoyed it, because Batman is as trendy as Hollister right now.
Batman Crossed the Line
Batman crossed the line. He did it in several different ways, and it offended me. Let me explain:
I Was Hypnotized until...
I was a part of Gotham city for most of this movie. I was jerking around in my seat, crying, laughing, and at one point I felt the same pain Batman did when he got kicked by a knife that was sticking out of the Joker's shoe (at which point I snapped out of it when the person next to me shushed me as I yelped in pain).
I usually get into movies, and go along with whatever stretch they are trying to make me believe, and I did, with a few exceptions. I may be bias because I work in a technology field, but some of this stuff must be ridiculous, even to a schizophrenic.
Batman took the liberty of taking some technology from some of my favorite movies like Power Rangers, and Transformers.
- The Batmobile can fly.
This is my biggest objection. I will refer to this abomination (the Batmobile) as the Flying Bat Tank. Tanks cannot fly... Ever. During WWII they tried to parachute tanks out of airplanes, and it was a disaster. Tanks don't fly. Not even in highly fictional movies.
This is a glimpse of the Flying Bat Tank in flight.- The the Flying Bat Tank is a tank.
I thought it was a car? I know we are trying to break free from the horrid Batman movies of that past that, in my mind, are right up there with Sahara, but the Batmobile being a car wasn't such a bad thing. It's not only a car-tank-aircraft, but it's really fast. So fast that it can out run police cars.- The the Flying Bat Tank can transform into a motorcyle.
Yeah- it literally transforms into a motor bike using
some of the same components from the the Flying Bat Tank, including the wheels, and the overly large guns attached. I thought that they switched the reel over to Transformers when that part happened. I actually said outloud, "Is this real?" I thought I was asleep, but sure enough, I was really awake.- The technological black guy designed all of Batman's technology.
Let's do a basic analysis the process of creating a relatively simple technological hardware product such as a simple cell phone. This can take an entire team of hardware specialists anywhere from six months to a year to create, and release the final product. That is basic technology! The black guy is not just creating technology, and "keeping the books", but he is designing, and building completely new ideas in a matter of days. In the movie, these products are in their "Beta Form," but they never malfunction, or need to be updated. Even when the "Bat Suit" is "updated", it isn't really better or worse. It's just a different suit.- Batman invented a sonar that can see everything.
By some outrageous explanation, I am supposed to believe that Batman figured out a simple adaptation to the black guy's ridiculous technology that can monitor everyone and everything in Gotham city.- Batman's "Scary" Voice
Batman's "Scary" Voice is about as convincing as Dylan Avery's 9/11 conspiracy.
Every time he talked in that ridiculous voice, I remembered, "Oh yeah, I'm in a movie theater."
Batman Took Eight Dollars, and My Soul
The very beginning of the movie starts off with my favorite thing: explicit, and malicious violence from one character to another. The movie goes on to even more twisted scenarios- one of which involves Two Face holding the city Commissioner's son at gunpoint in an effort to balance Justice.
There is a part of me that I can never get back. I felt used, and degraded after this movie.
To Sum Things Up
After I left the movie, I thought to myself: "Right now, burying myself alive sounds lovely. If it were not for the fact that I would have to purchase a shovel to do it, I would bury myself alive." It was very dark, and very violent. It was emotionally tormenting, and I might go as far as saying that this was a horror a movie. A great horror movie. After I finish therapy , I might say that I liked Batman.
